God designed and created marriage to be an exclusive lifelong relationship, broken only by the death of a spouse. However, in the real fallen world in which we now live, in the Law God gave Moses for His people, divorce was permitted as a concession in a case where “she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her.” (Deuteronomy 24:1) In Jesus day there was a difference of opinion of what that “indecency” consists. The liberal Hillel party of the Jews interpreted this verse widely, allowing divorce for virtually any reason. The conservative Shammai party interpreted it more narrowly, but between the two parties it was a debatable issue where you draw the lines. The Pharisees, trying to put Jesus in a no win situation asked for his opinion, feeling whatever Jesus said he would alienate a large part of the population, which was their goal.
Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”
“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
“Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
A modern day comparison might be how the Democrats (progressives) and the Republicans (conservatives) speak of abortion, trying to position themselves as reasonable and the other party as extreme.
Hardness of Heart
Refusing to take the bait, Jesus avoided hypothetical cases of casuistry, and referred back to God’s original intention. “He said to them, ‘Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” (Matthew 19:8-9) The disciples apparently felt Jesus was being too extreme, saying, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” Like when Peter asked Jesus, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times? Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.” (Matthew 18:21-22)
A Lifelong Commitment
The bottom line: God’s way is not looking for a way out or for legal justification for what we want to do, but striving for what God wants us to do as true followers of Christ. God’s Word through His apostle says a marriage may be dissolved in the case of sexual infidelity or abandonment by the unbelieving, hard-hearted spouse, i.e., a spouse that stubbornly refuses to follow God’s will for their lives. And where there is death, adultery, or desertion, God’s Word teaches, in the spirit of the Gospel, that the one who is left alone is free to remarry someone else. (Romans 7:2-3, 1 Corinthians 7:15)
